Side blog

Isn’t this odd. Having a Side Blog. I’m not even sure how this works, perhaps all my followers can see this, but then again maybe they can’t. I guess I’d like to talk about something that’s been on my mind a lot late.

Relationships. I feel, like they’re not really worth it. I almost don’t believe in them anymore. I love that feeling when you’re in a relationship, but how can they be real? Honestly, I broke up with one of my ex’s and we dated for over a year, my friend broke up with his girlfriend and they went out over two years, and I’ve heard people breaking up even though they were dating for 3 years. Is it even real? Could it even last?
I miss that feeling of love. I miss that comforting protection. I miss those sweet kisses. I miss everything from it, but then again I miss nothing. I’m contridicting myself.
Sometimes I wish I could be a guy just to be a player and not be called a whore. Honestly, girl’s all know it’s true. Or maybe that’s just me?
I’m not sure what I want exactly. I know I want to feel something like that again though. But I don’t want to be awkward about it. I don’t want to be with someone that I barely know. Someone I know I won’t like. I don’t want someone who likes me just for my looks, but for who I am. I want to be able to laugh and have fun with them, but I also would like to be kind of carefree about it. I want to be able to hold their hands and be able to just walk around talking about everything. Basically, right now, I’m kind of looking for a relationship that Tom and Summer had in 500 Days of Summer. Sort of? Maybe? I think I just want to feel wanted. It’s not like I’m looking for my soul mate. I mean, come on, I’m in high school and those rarely last.
I know I say things like “You don’t need a guy to be happy.”, etc. and I’m right, you don’t. You really don’t. But if you’re feeling for someone like I am now, you can’t help but want to be with that person. The person that makes you smile every time you’re with them, who’s not like anyone else, that person who you can say absolutely anything to and they would help you or laugh at you (in a good way). I really need that one person right now.
I’m probably being a stupid cliche teenager, but it’s true. It’s what I want right now. This is me being completely honest.